Dear Dogs and Cats

Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
 
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible.
 
I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years-canine/feline attendance is not required.
 
The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.
 
Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:
 
TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:
 
(1) They live here. You don't
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why call it ' fur'-niture
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.
 
Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
 
(1) eat less,
(2) don't ask for money all the time,
(3) are easier to train,
(4) normally come when called,
(5) never ask to drive the car,
(6) don't hang out with drug-using people,
(7) don't smoke or drink,
(8) don't want to wear your clothes,
(9) don't have to buy the latest fashions,
(10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and
(11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children......

It's ok bear bear, I understand it's a big sister thing.

   

And when you leave [even for 5 minutes], when you get back they are so happy to see you.

So true billyg.  If my family greeted me with HALF that enthusiasm when I returned home I would faint !

Pets always give you unconditional love.

 you can sell their childern?... tsk tsk..   ...  

Or you can keep them.

   

Sell ... heck I can give them away ....  

Saint, If I were to keep them it would be like uprooting their only place of security they ever knew, and that wouldn't be right.

Kevin to sell them would break my heart and not only that you never know who the buyer will be and to give them away well that's happened to me before.. won't happen

so the best decision I would make is to adopt a dog when the time comes that way i know in my heart that we would be compatable and have something in common... just my 2 cents. and for the record they do give unconditional love no matter what.

For me they will always be animals, some make good companions, some not so much, but no matter how special they are still animals, not people. Maybe it's the farmer in me, but I have never developed that kind of emotional attachment. We adopted many a dog or cat as a child, and gave away many more puppies and kittens. 

I'll agree with the unconditional love part as far as dogs go, well maybe not that little ankle biter that went after me at a clients house today ... but cats? Not so much ...

Yep, grew up on a farm myself, and animals are Gods creation and unfortunately some animals go to be slaughtered.   But my dogs were my companion and they never gave away my confidences  :nono: as for cats, well not a big cat lover except for one cat, they are sneaky and attack you when you don't expect it   but to some cats are a companion so thank God there are differences for all people. From a quote I'm becoming quite familiar with... it is what it is.  

As far as the ankle biter.. thank god is was only the ankle  

Little runt of a some sort of terrier ... went for the toe of my shoe and my ankle ... thankfully all he got was the bottom of my pants .... Oh well

Thank Goodness...  

I agree, " it is what it is"

   

Whew, Well I understand all views. I have raised animals for food and did what I had to do myself most of the time. I have hunted my food. But, most of the dogs I have had, I got attached to. Cats,well I had an Aunt [aka,the cat woman]. Cats got into a fight over what was on the stove cooking, burned out the house. Fireman gave me a body bag and I made a mass burial,12 cats and the 2 chickens she had on the stove. It was hard to go around before the fire. No,she survied the fire and died of natural causes years later. So besides not trusting cats, I also just can not handle them much. I am sure for some, they are what they need.

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