FREE YOURSELF FROM TOXIC PEOPLE

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Free Yourself From Toxic People (Choosing the Company You Keep)
By Guy Finley

Those with whom we assemble, we soon resemble!

This simple old saying hides a deep Truth that can enlighten and empower every aspect of our lives:

Who we are — our very essence — is continually being transformed by the company we keep.

Stated differently, when we keep the company of what is light and
bright, our lives get lighter and brighter. And when we keep the company
of what is dark and discouraging, our lives can’t help but be dragged
downward.

This idea might sound a little simplistic at first,
but its power soon becomes evident when we put it to use in the quest
to realize our highest aspirations. The key lies in understanding that
this principle is active on multiple levels at once.

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For instance,when referring to “the company we keep,” we of course mean the people
we spend time with every day — family, friends, co-workers, etc.

However,
on a deeper and more important level, “company” can also refer to the
thoughts and feelings moving within us in any given moment.


Have you ever been home alone in a fine mood, enjoying a meal perhaps,
only to find yourself bored or depressed an hour later? That’s a
perfect example of the effect of hanging out with the wrong interior
friends.

When we are unconscious to the operation
of our minds, any indigent thought or feeling that passes through us has
the power to strike up a conversation and drag us into its dark circle
of influence.

But just as it’s possible for us to keep bad interior company that pulls us
down, so is it possible to keep positive inner company that works to
raise us up in any moment we choose to remember it.

This not only means that we can choose not to get dragged down when we are alone, but it also means that we can choose not to get dragged down when we find ourselves in the presence of negative people as well.


How encouraging! When life places us in a situation where a run-in
with someone is inevitable — perhaps at work, with a family member, in a
store, etc. — we can choose to keep the company of good and true interior friends who can help keep us from falling into negative states.


And therein lies the key: when we remember that keeping the company of
negative interior friends is a choice, instead of an obligation, we are
free to keep the company of compassion instead of anger, generosity
instead of greed, and patience instead anxiety.


Building on this idea, let’s look at four common types of people that
can be identified by the four prevailing dark states that inhabit them.
By learning to recognize and understand the interior workings of these
four types of “toxic people,” we gain important insight into what is
dark and limiting inside of us.

In this way, we begin the process of liberation from everything inside of us that stands
in the way of knowing the peace, happiness, success, and love that we
long for.

1 Muckrakers:
These negative spirits live to drag up old painful events and then
revel in the anger, resentment, or bitterness that such unhappy memories
hold. Stay away from any spirit, in others or in youself, that wants
you to dive into some suffering over what happened in any past moment.

2 Mud Slingers:
These malicious spirits pull themselves up by pulling others down. They
love to gossip, criticize, judge, and denigrate anyone who ever had the
misfortune of spending time with them. The only loyalty these denizens
of the unconscious worlds have is to their own pain, which they feed by
involving everyone they can in their mud slinging.

3 Swamp Dwellers:
There is a group of mired spirits that thrive on low vibrations, and
that require a human instrument to play out their endless dark
dissonance. Easily recognizable, these misfortunate forces serve up
dreadful mental pictures of past and future events for the sake of the
unnatural reactions they produce. Ignore these corrupted spirits and
they must take their evil speculations elsewhere.

4 Life Haters:
These dark spirits perpetuate their hold on the human soul by resisting
the beautiful gifts of life. They trick us into commiserating with
their complaining, cruelty, and irritation because without our
unconscious consent, these chronically conflicted spirits can’t spread
their poison.

Just as harmful viruses require a human host to exist and thrive, so do
negative states require the unconscious consent of human beings to carry
out their dark mission. For what power does a negative thought have
other than the power to convince a person to do its bidding? The answer
is none!

When we begin to consciously withdraw our consent to associate with toxic
people, and the toxic thoughts and feelings inside of us, we leave them
with no place to thrive. Our real inner work is to sweep clean the
places in ourselves where such creatures reside which in turn brightens
our life and the lives of everyone around us.


Begin today, this very moment, to withdraw any permission you have
unknowingly granted these dark spirits to be in your life. Do not judge
yourself, or those around you in whom these misdirected forces are
active, but instead come awake and refuse to spend one more moment of
your life lending your precious life force to their dark purposes.


This powerful, positive action will change your life. As you begin to
refuse to consort with what is dark, you’ll find that you begin to
attract with what is light, bright, and cheerful. Your relationships
will deepen, your professional life will take on new vigor and
freshness, and the whole of your days will begin to resemble the radiant
Life that you have deliberately chosen as your conscious companion.


Guy Finley is the best-selling author of more than 40 books and
audio albums on self-realization. He is the founder and director of Life
of Learning Foundation, a nonprofit center for self-study located in
southern Oregon where he gives talks four times each week.

Guy is a faculty member at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, New York and is a regular expert contributor to Beliefnet and the Huffington Post. Formore information visit www.guyfinley.org, and sign up to receive a free
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