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Queen Offers to Restore British Rule Over United States
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Queen Offers to Restore British Rule Over United States
PLEASE NOTE --TAKEN FROM A NEWS SPOOF WEBSITE -- For Entertainment purposes only -
LONDON (The Borowitz Report)—In an unexpected televised address on Saturday, Queen Elizabeth II offered to restore British rule over the United States of America.
Addressing the American people from her office in Buckingham Palace, the Queen said that she was making the offer “in recognition of the desperate situation you now find yourselves in.”
“This two-hundred-and-forty-year experiment in self-rule began with the best of intentions, but I think we can all agree that it didn’t end well,” she said.
The Queen urged Americans to write in her name on Election Day, after which the transition to British rule could begin “with a minimum of bother.”
Elizabeth acknowledged that, in the wake of Brexit, Americans might justifiably be alarmed about being governed by the British parliamentary system, but she reassured them, “Parliament would play no role in this deal. This would be an old-school monarchy. Just me, and then, assuming you’d rather not have Charles, we could go straight to William and those children of his who have mesmerized you so.”
Using the closing moments of her speech to tout her credentials, the Queen made it clear that she has never used e-mail and has only had sex with one person “very occasionally.”
http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/queen-offers-to-restore-british-rule-over-united-states?mbid=rss
LONDON (The Borowitz Report)—In an unexpected televised address on Saturday, Queen Elizabeth II offered to restore British rule over the United States of America.
Addressing the American people from her office in Buckingham Palace, the Queen said that she was making the offer “in recognition of the desperate situation you now find yourselves in.”
“This two-hundred-and-forty-year experiment in self-rule began with the best of intentions, but I think we can all agree that it didn’t end well,” she said.
The Queen urged Americans to write in her name on Election Day, after which the transition to British rule could begin “with a minimum of bother.”
Elizabeth acknowledged that, in the wake of Brexit, Americans might justifiably be alarmed about being governed by the British parliamentary system, but she reassured them, “Parliament would play no role in this deal. This would be an old-school monarchy. Just me, and then, assuming you’d rather not have Charles, we could go straight to William and those children of his who have mesmerized you so.”
Using the closing moments of her speech to tout her credentials, the Queen made it clear that she has never used e-mail and has only had sex with one person “very occasionally.”
http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/queen-offers-to-restore-british-rule-over-united-states?mbid=rss
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Ethel Biscuit- VIP Member
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Re: Queen Offers to Restore British Rule Over United States
You're shitting me, right? I see the 'ol reptilian is at it again, finally-
Terbo56- VIP Member
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Re: Queen Offers to Restore British Rule Over United States
Ah yes, I suppose the edited addition of a disclaimer might be necessary for colonial readers.
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Ethel Biscuit- VIP Member
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Re: Queen Offers to Restore British Rule Over United States
Ethel Biscuit wrote:Ah yes, I suppose the edited addition of a disclaimer might be necessary for colonial readers.
Yaaa, we posted things from that site before and you wouldn't believe the people that thought the article was being taken seriously. It makes one scratch their head and say"what is wrong with you?" People never cease to amaze me.
Ponee- Admin
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Re: Queen Offers to Restore British Rule Over United States
i couldnt resist sorry ponee!
GypZ- VIP Member
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Re: Queen Offers to Restore British Rule Over United States
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Re: Queen Offers to Restore British Rule Over United States
I responded to this because, at the time, the red highlighted area wasn't there- Sorry I amaze everyone......Anyway, the old BAT needs to shrivel up and blow away....
Terbo56- VIP Member
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Re: Queen Offers to Restore British Rule Over United States
Sorry Turbo, no reptilians ....
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Re: Queen Offers to Restore British Rule Over United States
Ethel Biscuit wrote:Ah yes, I suppose the edited addition of a disclaimer might be necessary for colonial readers.
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