Part Two - A Mother's Dictionary
A collection of refuse items, the taking out of which Mom assigns to a
different family member each week, then winds up doing herself.
GENIUSES: Amazingly, all of Mom's kids.
GUM: Adhesive for the hair.
HAMPER: A wicker container with a lid, usually surrounded by, but not containing, dirty clothing.
HANDI-WIPES: Pants, shirt-sleeves, drapes, etc.
HANDS: Body appendages which must
be scrubbed raw with volcanic soap and sterilized in boiling water
immediately prior to consumption of the evening meal.
HINDSIGHT: What Mom experiences from changing too many diapers.
HOMEMADE BREAD: An object of fiction like the Fountain of Youth and the Golden Fleece.
ICE: Cubes of frozen water which would be found in small plastic tray if
kids or husbands ever filled the darn things instead of putting them
back in the freezer empty.
INSIDE: That place that will suddenly look attractive to kids once Mom
has spent a minimum of half an hour getting them ready to go outside.
"I SAID SO": Reason enough, according to Mom.
JACKPOT: When all the kids stay at friends' homes for the night.
JEANS: Which, according to kids, are appropriate for just about any occasion, including church and funerals.
JOY RIDE: Going somewhere without the kids.
JUNK: Dad's stuff.
KETCHUP: The sea of tomato-based goop kids use to drown the dish that
Mom spent hours cooking and years perfecting to get the seasoning just
KISS: Mom medicine.
LAKE: Large body of water into which a kid will jump should his friends do so.
LEMONADE STAND: Complicated business venture where Mom buys powdered
mix, sugar, lemons, and paper cups, and sets up a table, chairs,
pitchers and ice for kids who sit there for three to six minutes and net
a profit of 15 cents.
LIE: An "exaggeration" Mom uses to transform her child's papier-m‚chÈ
volcano science project into a Nobel Prize-winning experiment and a
full-ride scholarship to Harvard.
LOSERS: See "Kids' Friends."
MAKEUP: Lipstick, eyeliner, blush, etc. which ironically make Mom look
better while making her young daughter look "like a tramp."
MILK: A healthful beverage which kids will gladly drink once it's turned into junk food by the addition of sugar and cocoa.
"MOMMMMMMMY!": The cry of a child on another floor who wants something.
MUSH: 1) What a kid loves to do with a plateful of food. 2) Main element of Mom's favorite movies
Greatness lies, not in being strong, but in the right using of strength; and strength is not used rightly when it serves only to carry a man above his fellows for his own solitary glory. He is the greatest whose strength carries up the most hearts by the attraction of his own -- Bryant
“When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.” ― Wayne W. Dyer
To be persuasive, one must be believable;
To be believable, one must be credible;
To be credible, one must be truthful.
- VIP FEATURED MEMBER
- Posts : 525
Join date : 2011-10-23
Location : NC
Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum