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Post by Kevind53 Mon May 06, 2013 2:57 pm

Hello, welcome to the mental health hotline.

If you have obsessive compulsive disorder, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personality syndrome, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you suffer from paranoid schizophrenia, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line, the nice men with the black SUVs will be with you shortly.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mothership.

If you are hearing voices, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which button you press. No one will answer anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound button until a representative comes on the line.

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's and grandmother's maiden names.

If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 911.

If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep. Or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short term memory loss, please try you call again in a few minutes.

If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our representatives are busy.

*****************
Trust but Verify --- R Reagan Suspect

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."1 Thessalonians 5:14–18

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Post by Jayzze Mon May 06, 2013 3:56 pm

what happens if you are all of the above?
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Post by Kevind53 Mon May 06, 2013 5:25 pm

Have fun .... Need Help? 3508649203 Need Help? 3508649203 Need Help? 3508649203 Need Help? 3508649203 Need Help? 3508649203 Need Help? 3508649203

*****************
Trust but Verify --- R Reagan Suspect

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."1 Thessalonians 5:14–18

 Need Help? 2805820865  Need Help? 2805820865  Need Help? 2805820865  Need Help? 2805820865
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Post by Terbo56 Mon May 06, 2013 5:29 pm

Commit suicide already-Need Help? 3508649203
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Post by aksafeone Mon May 06, 2013 6:03 pm

Walk in front of a freight train?
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Post by abby ann Mon May 06, 2013 6:10 pm

HEY KEVIN WHAT IF YOUR OUT OF PAPER?????????????Need Help? 3508649203Need Help? 3508649203
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Post by aksafeone Mon May 06, 2013 6:50 pm

Then you are in way too deep to worry about!!!!!
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Post by Terbo56 Mon May 06, 2013 7:23 pm

Yep- A 110mph Amtrak train, that'll make a mess of ya-Need Help? 4115835343
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Post by Jayzze Mon May 06, 2013 7:31 pm

let okie take you for a ride in his jet
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Post by Terbo56 Mon May 06, 2013 7:44 pm

No, thanks, I've been to h-e-l-l twice-3rd time will be for life-Need Help? 235134252
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