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STRICTLY HUMOR

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Kevind53
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UNEEK
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Post by UNEEK Sun Feb 19, 2012 10:35 am

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

*****************
Greatness lies, not in being strong, but in the right using of strength; and strength is not used rightly when it serves only to carry a man above his fellows for his own solitary glory. He is the greatest whose strength carries up the most hearts by the attraction of his own -- Bryant

“When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.” ― Wayne W. Dyer


To be persuasive, one must be believable;
To be believable, one must be credible;
To be credible, one must be truthful.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
UNEEK
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Post by bobd Sun Feb 19, 2012 10:49 am

UNEEK. WELL DONE. LOL LOL LOL LOL. SADLY SO TRUE.

*****************
chillout hemademe bigsmile
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Post by Kevind53 Sun Feb 19, 2012 3:25 pm

A lot of truth in some of these. lol!

*****************
Trust but Verify --- R Reagan Suspect

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."1 Thessalonians 5:14–18

 STRICTLY  HUMOR 2805820865  STRICTLY  HUMOR 2805820865  STRICTLY  HUMOR 2805820865  STRICTLY  HUMOR 2805820865
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Post by dinarstar Sun Feb 19, 2012 4:28 pm

lol! lol! lol!

*****************
"Success is not final, failure is not fatal. It's the courage to continue that counts."
Winston Churchill
(1874-1965)
hug

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Post by UNEEK Sun Feb 19, 2012 4:34 pm

STRICTLY  HUMOR 11


KEVIND53 & DINARSTAR ❤

*****************
Greatness lies, not in being strong, but in the right using of strength; and strength is not used rightly when it serves only to carry a man above his fellows for his own solitary glory. He is the greatest whose strength carries up the most hearts by the attraction of his own -- Bryant

“When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.” ― Wayne W. Dyer


To be persuasive, one must be believable;
To be believable, one must be credible;
To be credible, one must be truthful.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
UNEEK
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Post by Herb Lady Sun Feb 19, 2012 5:47 pm

How funny! lol!
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Post by Splovengates Sun Feb 19, 2012 8:22 pm

Ive been to many marriage counseling sessions.
Nobody ever told me these things.
I want my money back.

No, just cash my DINAR in at one for one, and I will have a happy marriage.
Thats SMART MATH!

*****************
"Things are looking very favorable for today into tomorrow night. Be ready between sunday and monday night, or maybe tuesday or wednesday. Could also be thursday but definitely by friday.... probably next week, monday or late tuesday night, wednesday morning to hear the RV and should be cashing in on the following tuesday the 1st of the month. Sooner more than later. This is an education in patience. GO RV GO Splovengates/CaptJerry

:cherry:"And I saw [3 angels] fly in the midst of heaven..." Rev 14
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Post by dinarstar Sun Feb 19, 2012 9:02 pm

@Splovengates wrote:Ive been to many marriage counseling sessions.
Nobody ever told me these things.
I want my money back.

No, just cash my DINAR in at one for one, and I will have a happy marriage.
Thats SMART MATH!

lol! lol! lol!

*****************
"Success is not final, failure is not fatal. It's the courage to continue that counts."
Winston Churchill
(1874-1965)
hug

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Post by dinarstar Sun Feb 19, 2012 9:05 pm

I have a happy marriage...
I have not seen my wife for years and years,so not much conflict there eh!!
I guess that could be reason she is keeping me!! shame

*****************
"Success is not final, failure is not fatal. It's the courage to continue that counts."
Winston Churchill
(1874-1965)
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Post by fang2 Sun Feb 19, 2012 9:11 pm

I could guess you are saying because she is not raking you over the coals. just wondering if that is the way to live. I would suppose none of our business!! Hey as long as it works for you. I know people that it work's for!!
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Post by dinarstar Sun Feb 19, 2012 9:48 pm

I say it jokingly,unfortunately our separation is not out of choice.
I will be able to help all my family after RV,or a couple of other things I am doing materialize.
Whichever comes first.
We talk over the phone every day,which is a great Blessing.
I am very grateful to live in a country where I can work hard,so as to provide for my family living on two separate continents,until we are re-united once again.

*****************
"Success is not final, failure is not fatal. It's the courage to continue that counts."
Winston Churchill
(1874-1965)
hug

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Post by UNEEK Sun Feb 19, 2012 10:18 pm

I am so glad you explained a little more -- I was totally lost - confused and afraid to ask Smile

Blessings to you my dear friend -- May the fruition of this wonderful blessing be soon

We all can do something to bring a small amount of suffering to an end --

UNEEK
❤

*****************
Greatness lies, not in being strong, but in the right using of strength; and strength is not used rightly when it serves only to carry a man above his fellows for his own solitary glory. He is the greatest whose strength carries up the most hearts by the attraction of his own -- Bryant

“When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.” ― Wayne W. Dyer


To be persuasive, one must be believable;
To be believable, one must be credible;
To be credible, one must be truthful.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
UNEEK
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Post by dinarstar Sun Feb 19, 2012 11:15 pm

Thank you for such gentle understanding,and your kindness uneek.
I always read your posts.
We all have a little story to tell,some more painful than others.
I feel myself Blessed that I am able to work,and have family who love me over the miles.
I try not to complain,but...sometimes it slips out... Embarassed..part of being human!
My late Dad used to say,
" do not complain because you have no shoes,
some people do not have any feet"
I love,and I am loved in return,what more could I ask for?
Not much ☀

*****************
"Success is not final, failure is not fatal. It's the courage to continue that counts."
Winston Churchill
(1874-1965)
hug

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Post by Splovengates Mon Feb 20, 2012 2:53 am

HERES SOME MORE OF WHAT IVE LEARNED
FROM MARRIAGE COUNSELING


"BEHIND EVERY SUCCESSFUL MAN
IS A SURPRISED WOMAN"

OH, and one more thing:

GOD CREATED MAN AND RESTED.

GOD CREATED WOMAN AND...

BOTH GOD AND MAN AINT RESTED SINCE


Last edited by Splovengates on Mon Feb 20, 2012 2:56 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Addl text)

*****************
"Things are looking very favorable for today into tomorrow night. Be ready between sunday and monday night, or maybe tuesday or wednesday. Could also be thursday but definitely by friday.... probably next week, monday or late tuesday night, wednesday morning to hear the RV and should be cashing in on the following tuesday the 1st of the month. Sooner more than later. This is an education in patience. GO RV GO Splovengates/CaptJerry

:cherry:"And I saw [3 angels] fly in the midst of heaven..." Rev 14
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