Just In - Worldwide Celebrations as Iraqi Dinar Revalues 1:1000! 4/1/18

by **Ssmith** on Sun Apr 01, 2018 7:57 am

Worldwide Celebrations as Iraqi Dinar Revalues 1:1000!

Iraq Banking & Finance News

Just as the dinar speculators predicted, Iraq has re-valued its currency 1000-fold, making dollar-millionaires of ordinary folk from Anbar to Arkansas!

The unprecedented 100,000% revaluation was welcomed by businesses all across the world, who saw nothing strange about paying $1,000 today for something that was priced at $1 yesterday. At the stroke of a pen, foreign companies now pay their cleaning staff in Iraq more than they pay board-level directors back at home.

Dozens of ‘investors’ in America partied the night away, as news of their windfall came through.

Billy Bob, from Alabama, exclaimed: “I knew it would happen, just like the Lord said it would!” When asked why he only invested $1,000 if he knew it would revalue, he declined to comment.

Peggy Sue, of Butte, Montana, said:

“Wooo hooo!!! I knew if I just said ‘Go RV!’ one more time on an internet forum that it would somehow make it all come true – you just have to believe hard enough!”

Asked what she would do with her gains, she replied:

“I’m re-investing. Cousin Cletus buys his bait from the same guy as a director of Goldman Sachs, and he said that one day these rocks he sold me will turn into gold. I know it’s a long-shot, but the upside is so large it’s worth gambling on, and I’m only going to give him what I can afford to lose, and take a long-term view, so that makes sense, right? Hey, I’m an investor, and investors take risks, and I’d just hate myself if I missed a golden opportunity like that. Go rocks!!”

An Iraqi government official told us off the record:

“It’s so obvious, with hindsight – we should have done it sooner. All we had to do to be richer was to say the currency is now worth 1,000 times more, and everyone would be willing to pay 1,000 times more for it. I mean, wouldn’t you?”

But one dinar seller, who asked not to be named, said:

“I’m devastated! If I really thought this was going to happen, do you think I’d have sold dinars at the old price? What sort of an idiot was I!”

Meanwhile, a special sitting of the United Nations General Assembly has been called to discuss this unprecedented shift in global power.