"Psychological Projection and Narcissistic Abuse" by Dante 7/12/17

by **Ssmith** on Wed Jul 12, 2017 8:55 am

Dearest Patrick (IDC),

Thank you for being you, thank you for creating a forum where we can all display our feelings and emotions, yes it's true [ We have "FREE WILL" and we can obviously claim to "HARM NONE" but there seems to be a lot of "HARMING" going on. ]

As the "NORTH AMERICAN NATIVES" used to say some speak with a "FORKED TONGUE" you listen to them speak with the softest melodic voice, it seems like we are following the "PIED PIPER" and then the next minute they find the worst things to share about others. It's truly discouraging and such a turn off.

One minute you admire them and believe they are fantastic human beings and the next minute they nefariously negate and undo all the good they did by lashing out.

'I know we are all somewhat on edge, but are we any better than those we condemned and criticized. I have always strived to find the good and greatness of everyone, only to be disillusioned time and time again.

Again I listened tonight to two individuals whom I admire from the bottom of my heart, but ended up disillusioned by listening to them negate all the good they had shared. It really makes me wonder if they are possibly Bipolar or simply individuals that speak with a forked tongue.

Please forgive the size of the characters , I copied out of Wikipedia
In my opinion I recently noticed these tendencies! Perhaps I'm guilty of it myself, just an observation.

In John 8:7 “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.”

Psychological projection

Psychological projection is a theory in psychology in which humans defend themselves against their own unconscious impulses or qualities (both positive and negative) by denying their existence in themselves while attributing them to others. For example, a person who is habitually rude may constantly accuse other people of being rude. It incorporates blame shifting.

According to some research, the projection of one's unconscious qualities onto others is a common process in everyday life.

Historical precursors

A prominent precursor in the formulation of the projection principle was Giambattista Vico. In 1841, Ludwig Feuerbach was the first enlightenment thinker to employ this concept as the basis for a systematic critique of religion. The Babylon Talmud (500 CE) notes the human tendency toward projection and warns against it: "Do not taunt your neighbour with the lemish you yourself have."

Narcissistic Abuse

Adult relationships

Narcissistic abuse may also occur in adult-to-adult relationships, where the narcissistic person tends to seek out a successful (independent, educated, and attractive) and empathic partner in order to gain admiration of own attributes – narcissistic supply. The narcissist creates a dynamic abuser and victim relationship through a cycle of resulting in traumatic bonding that makes it hard for their partner to leave the increasingly abusive relationship.

Codependents may voluntarily seek relationships with narcissists.

The narcissists' relationships are characterized by a period of intense involvement and idealization of their partner, followed by devaluation, and a rapid discarding of the partner. At the beginning of a relationship with a narcissist, the partner is only shown the ideal self of the narcissist, which includes pseudo-empathy, kindness, and charm. Once the partner has committed to the relationship (e.g., through marriage or a business partnership), the true self of the narcissist will begin to emerge. The initial narcissistic abuse begins with belittling comments and grows to contempt, ignoring behavior, adultery, sabotage, and, at times, physical abuse. At the core of a narcissist is a combination of entitlement and low self-esteem. These feelings of inadequacy are projected onto the victim. If the narcissistic person is feeling unattractive they will belittle their romantic partner's appearance. If the narcissist makes an error, this error becomes the partner's fault. Narcissists also engage in insidious, manipulative abuse by giving subtle hints and comments that result in the victim questioning their own behavior and thoughts. This is termed gaslighting. Any slight criticism of the narcissist, whether actual or perceived, often triggers narcissistic rage and full blown annihilation from the narcissistic person. This can take the form of screaming tirades or quiet sabotage (setting traps, hiding belongings, spreading rumors, etc.). The discard phase can be swift and occurs once the narcissistic supply is obtained elsewhere. In romantic relationships, the narcissistic supply can be acquired by having affairs. The new partner is in the idealization phase and only witnesses the ideal self; thus once again the cycle of narcissistic abuse begins. Narcissists do not take responsibility for relationship difficulties and exhibit no feelings of remorse. Instead they believe themselves to be the victim in the relationship.

Respectfully Yours

+++ Dante