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 A Bit of a Giggle for St. Paddy's Day

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SEBtopdog
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PostSubject: A Bit of a Giggle for St. Paddy's Day   Fri Mar 15, 2013 6:04 pm

Paddy was
driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and
couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, 'Lord take pity on
me. If you find me a parking place
I will go to Mass every Sunday for the
rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!'

Miraculously, a parking
place appeared.

Paddy looked up again and said, 'Never mind, I found
one.'

----------



Father
Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and asks the first man he meets, 'Do you
want to go to heaven?'

The man said, 'I do, Father.'

The priest
said, 'Then stand over there against the wall.'

Then the priest asked the
second man, 'Do you want to go to heaven?'

'Certainly, Father,' the man
replied.

'Then stand over there against the wall,' said the
priest.

Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and asked, 'Do you want
to go to heaven?'

O'Toole said, 'No, I don't Father.'

The priest
said, 'I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't
want to go to heaven?'

O'Toole said, 'Oh, when I die , yes. I thought you
were getting a group together to go right now.'




-----------



Paddy was in New York .

He was
patiently waiting and watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing. The
cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, 'Okay,
pedestrians.' Then he'd
allow the traffic to pass.

He'd done this several times, and Paddy still
stood on the sidewalk.

After the cop had shouted, 'Pedestrians!' for the
tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, 'Is it not about time ye let the
Catholics
across?'


---------------



Gallagher opened the morning newspaper
and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly
phoned his best
friend, Finney.

'Did you see the paper?' asked
Gallagher. 'They say I died!!'

'Yes, I saw it!' replied Finney. 'Where
are ye callin' from?'


------------



An Irish priest is driving down to New
York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut . The state trooper smells
alcohol on the
priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the
floor of the car.

He says, 'Sir, have you been drinking?'

'Just
water,' says the priest.

The trooper says, 'Then why do I smell
wine?'

The priest looks at the bottle and says, 'Good Lord! He's doone it
again!'


-----------------



Walking into the bar, Mike said to
Charlie the bartender, 'Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the
little woman.'

'Oh yeah?' said Charlie, 'And how did this one
end?'

'When it was over,' Mike replied, 'She came to me on her hands and
knees.'

'Really,' said Charles, 'Now that's a switch! What did she
say?'

She said, 'Come out from under the bed, you little
chicken.'


-----------------



O’Leary
staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy.
He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen.

He tiptoed as
quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but
misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his
body swung around and he landed heavily
on his rump. A whiskey bottle in
each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.

Managing
not to yell, O’Leary sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall
mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly
find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on
each place he saw blood.

He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box
and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.

In the morning, O’Leary woke up
with searing pain in both his head and butt and Kathleen staring at him from
across the room.

She said, 'You were drunk again last night weren't
you?'

O’Leary said, 'Why you say such a mean thing?'

'Well,'
Kathleen said, 'it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at
the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the
house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly ..... it's all those
Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.



Happy St.Patrick's
Day!!!!

*****************

 
Keep smiling ... It'll make 'em wonder what you're up to!
 

Will someone please let the RV Widget out of the jar?
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Terbo56
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PostSubject: Re: A Bit of a Giggle for St. Paddy's Day   Fri Mar 15, 2013 6:46 pm

Happy St. Paddy's Day to all!
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PostSubject: Re: A Bit of a Giggle for St. Paddy's Day   Fri Mar 15, 2013 11:08 pm


*****************
Trust but Verify --- R Reagan Suspect

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."1 Thessalonians 5:14–18

       
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PostSubject: Re: A Bit of a Giggle for St. Paddy's Day   Fri Mar 15, 2013 11:23 pm


*****************
Trust but Verify --- R Reagan Suspect

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."1 Thessalonians 5:14–18

       
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PostSubject: Re: A Bit of a Giggle for St. Paddy's Day   Fri Mar 15, 2013 11:27 pm


*****************
Trust but Verify --- R Reagan Suspect

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."1 Thessalonians 5:14–18

       
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PostSubject: Re: A Bit of a Giggle for St. Paddy's Day   Sat Mar 16, 2013 10:57 pm

:belly laugh: :belly laugh: :belly laugh:
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PostSubject: Re: A Bit of a Giggle for St. Paddy's Day   Sun Mar 17, 2013 2:22 pm


*****************
Trust but Verify --- R Reagan Suspect

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."1 Thessalonians 5:14–18

       
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A Bit of a Giggle for St. Paddy's Day
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